Help, I've been Ghosted!
- Ghosted Unicorn Zero
- Feb 2, 2024
- 4 min read
Welcome, Dear Unicorn!
So, you got Ghosted. I don't mean in the romantic way like Patrick Swayze in the movie Ghost.
You know what Ghosting is, and you've just been a victim of it.
Fear not.
This site was set up with the hope of offering support and advice to you out there who is genuinely putting effort into finding that special someone, and yet, time and again, hitting a roadblock.
GhostedUnicorns is a collection of true stories submitted by readers (let's call them Unicorns) which reflect their experiences dating, as well as what each Unicorn learnt from their experience.
Dating is tough, and more so in the LGBTQ+ world. By sharing these stories and learnings here, we hope you can feel part of being in a larger tribe of support, and also learn from others, bounce back, and have a happier dating life.
If you would like to submit your GhostedUnicorn story, please send them to:
stories@ghostedunicorns.com . All stories submitted will be vetted before publishing, and will be anonymised safety and privacy. No stories concerning physical intimacy, and violence will be accepted.
Check out GhostedUnicorns Story #1
The One where
the Ghost Came Back
"Hi I'm Jack. I'm in my early 40s and live here in Singapore. Two Christmases ago, I met a guy on one of the dating apps (let's call him Joe). Nice profile, Joe works as a professional in the medical industry and comes across eloquent, well travelled, and wow his profile pictures has the cutest dimples. The whole visual vibe seems to be an aloof indie band member.
"We moved quickly from the app to texting on Whatsapp. The chat chemistry seems great, I was travelling for work to a city in Australia that Joe went to college in, so he was really super helpful in giving a list of the best cafes to go to (he's a coffee nut), and cool places to check out. This went on for about 3 weeks, we texted daily - it was intense. Joe's also a little unusual in the sense that he liked to reply texts via recorded voice messages. I thought it was a little old school at first, but it was actually nice to hear Joe's voice. So, for Joe, I started recording voice texts as well.
"After about a month of this, we finally found time to meet in person over lunch. In person Joe was slim, and the dimples were cuter in real life. As usual there was this slight awkwardness when we first met but we talked about Australia and his time there as a college student and the ice quickly broke.
"I found out Joe had some serious food allergies so he's all about eating healthy and knowing where you food comes from and all. All good.
"After the new year passed, I reached out to see if Joe wanted to meet again. The replies seem less frequent, and the volume of what he texted was less, and guess what NO MORE VOICE TEXTS. This should have been a red flag, but no I just thought he was busy with work.
"When he did not commit to another timing to meet up, I knew he had lost interest. Hey it happens, he didn't feel the chemistry after we met. So ok, I let him be, and we moved on.
9 months later....
"So 9 months after this, I was surprised Joe matched me again on the dating app. This time round I had my guard up, but part of me was genuinely curious why he did that. Did he regret his behavior? Did he change his mind? I don't know.
"Well, there's only one way to find out, Jack!" - I told myself. I matched with Joe (again).
BAD IDEA.
"He said hi. I had to remind Joe what happened the last time. He already has my number and we kept the messages so he can now see what happened.
"Joe said 'Wow, that's unbecoming behavior'. He didn't apologise. 'Maybe the app really wanted us to meet again', he said.
"I took that as Joe wanted to pick up where we left things, so I gave it a shot, texting him engaging him as what we did before.
"This time, he was aloof right from the get go. After two days of this, I replied Joe that I have no idea why he decided to reconnect with me, and I told him I really thought he wanted to pick things up again.
"Joe replied that 'Jack, you are correct that this is a wrong assumption'. I could almost hear the crickets over the phone across the internet.
"So I bid Joe farewell, deleted all of the text history, and blocked him.
So what did you learn? How did you feel about the experience?
"I think my biggest takeaway from this was, NEVER go back. I did not learn my lesson the first time - not to waste time getting angry with guys that aren't sure what they want or don't know how to turn me down properly.
"I felt angry about Joe but even more angry about myself, for letting my fondness for the initial time we spent connecting the first time, to blind me to the fact that Joe may not be in for serious dating. It's now another 6 months later, and I still don't know what happened on his end, and you know what it is ok. Time to learn and move on."
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XOXO GhostedUnicorns
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